View Single Post
Old 03-28-2012, 05:42 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,863
Default Boundaries

I've been meaning to post in one of the "boundaries" threads for a while. Haven't read all of this one (which will be rectified as soon as I post this). But wanted to document where we are now...(since my blog hasn't gotten this far yet).

When Dude and I first "got together" and MrS and I were ironing out what this meant for us - rules were:

Condoms for PIV sex if not amongst us three.

MrS jokingly added - for me: "No anal sex with anyone else if you won't have anal sex with me!" (I've tried, I can't, they will have to get other GF [or BF ] for this...which is fine! - I don't need details.)

MrS outlined how he envisioned it would go if he met a "potential" (he would keep me abrest of things, especially if they passed the petting/kissing stage and bring her around so I could meet her before they had sex) and it sounded like a good plan. (Side Note = he has been free to do this for the last 20 years and never taken advantage of it...I am somewhat hoping that my relationship with Dude might prompt him to "take the plunge"...)

With regards to Dude...I expect him to let me know if he is having sex with anyone else. If he is with someone and it progresses to the point that he is wanting to "fluid bond" with her (i.e. for-go the condoms) then I/we need to meet her and agree (or it is condoms between us).

Now...after all was said and done MrS came up with a new request based on the realities of our situation. In essence, he would like to be informed if he is going to encounter sexual activity if he opens a door in the house (only the bedroom and bathrooms have doors), so he can be braced for it. Since we live in, essentially, a three room house - bedroom, living-room/den, library/dining-room - that means he would like to be informed if we are having sex. Dude sometimes rankles under this boundary, he sometimes views it as "asking permission" - I view it as "common courtesy"... we are working on it...

From my standpoint - we can't be glaringly obvious when we are in town - as my professional reputation (and job) would be at stake. Nobody is chafing there (although occasional reminders are required).

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 03-28-2012 at 05:46 AM.
Reply With Quote