Originally Posted by nycindie
But I also wanted to say to you - so what would it really mean if Curlz finds another lover and that person becomes primary for him? That doesn't automatically mean it has to be over with you. And, if he does start having multiple relationships, he may not even choose to classify them according to hierarchies.
Also... loving without fear. I don't think the goal is to try and not have fears, but to keep loving in the face of fear.
Yes, that's true. It's very hard not to make assumptions. I sure don't know him well enough to know what he wants or is going to do.
About the fear: to me, fear is something that prevents me from doing the things I want to do.That's the paralyzing, numbing, suffocating effect of fear. So yes you're very right: my fears will never really go away, but I refuse to let them rule my behavior and prevent me from living my best possible life.
When I meet people now, and become close to them, and tell them a bit about my past, they are always completely surprised when I tell them "well, you know, there was a time when I did not want to leave the house because I felt so ugly and undesirable and I was sure everyone would just start to make fun of me when I set one foot out the door."
Then they look at me and see a confident and attractive woman. They don't know that the fears of the 20 year old are still there, to some extent, I just don't let them rule my life anymore.