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Old 03-27-2012, 05:08 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 6,754

Originally Posted by Cleo View Post
All of a sudden I just KNEW for sure that he would meet someone who he would want to be his primary. And I actually KNEW (ha) that he is going to meet her this weekend.

How irrational can I get? So much for loving without fear. I was reassured when he sent me a lovely and loving little text message later today. But I would so much prefer not to have to rely on this reassurance.
Heh-heh, I can really relate to this. Sometimes I wake up with the idea that Lively will suddenly decide that he only wants to be friends and will end the sexual component of our lover-friendship. I KNOW that he's met someone else he wants to be monogamous with. And I will feel very blue about it... until he texts me and says, "Wanna hang with me tonight?" and I am relieved. Then we have a great time together and I feel so foolish for panicking. But then it will happen again. I don't know what to do about it when it happens except to reassure myself that our friendship alone is valuable to me and that I will find the kinds of lovers I want in my life when it is right.

But I also wanted to say to you - so what would it really mean if Curlz finds another lover and that person becomes primary for him? That doesn't automatically mean it has to be over with you. And, if he does start having multiple relationships, he may not even choose to classify them according to hierarchies.

Also... loving without fear. I don't think the goal is to try and not have fears, but to keep loving in the face of fear. You know, along the lines of that old classic self-help book by Susan Jeffers: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

Good, thought-provoking start for your blog, btw. Thanks for this... and welcome!
Hot chick in the city.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me.
~Bryan Ferry
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