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Old 03-27-2012, 05:08 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,319

Originally Posted by Cleo View Post
All of a sudden I just KNEW for sure that he would meet someone who he would want to be his primary. And I actually KNEW (ha) that he is going to meet her this weekend.

How irrational can I get? So much for loving without fear. I was reassured when he sent me a lovely and loving little text message later today. But I would so much prefer not to have to rely on this reassurance.
Heh-heh, I can really relate to this. I wanted to say to you - so what would it really mean if Curlz finds another lover and that person becomes primary for him? That doesn't automatically mean it has to be over with you. And, if he does start having multiple relationships, he may not even choose to classify them according to hierarchies.

Also... loving without fear. I don't think the goal is to try and not have fears, but to keep loving in the face of fear. You know, along the lines of that old classic self-help book by Susan Jeffers: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

Good, thought-provoking start for your blog, btw. Thanks for this... and welcome!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 05:10 AM.
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