Thread: Doubts
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Old 03-27-2012, 01:55 PM
onoma onoma is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
Is your partner open to it? (you've likely posted about that elsewhere....sorry, my tracking abilities are next to nothing these days...overload)
She says she's not at all open to it and actually morally opposed to it. However... she never seems to think twice about infidelity presented in TV shows or movies. She even seems to really like male characters who are known for cheating, which makes me wonder if she's not as against it as she feels the need to claim.

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So, why were you terrible at it; and what's changed? Are you comfortable with a dating site? OKCupid seems pretty popular with folks here. (I'm not familiar with it) If I were looking, that's where I'd go.
The big thing that's changed is I feel more confident. I'd be more likely to approach women and talk to them, and less worried/stressed about every little thing. (In other words not as clingy/desperate as I used to be.)

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Ah, so you would have to give it up. ? Some people can live with not knowing things. I am, for instance, quite content to travel many places via movies and television. When I was younger, I drove all over the USA, and loved it. I also went to Paris, a childhood dream. And now that my body is not as cooperative, I'm quite content to enjoy travels vicariously.

Others are haunted by not finding out things for themselves.
I think it might be easier to enjoy things vicariously if you've already experienced them firsthand. But I do try to figure this out pretty much every day. Should it really matter if I never sleep with anyone else? A part of me feels like it shouldn't...


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That's worth considering. I recommend reading JaneQSmythes posts (and her blog/life story). She identifies as an introvert (I think) and might have useful insights for you.
I'll check those out when I get more time...

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I also really recommend a book by Elaine Aron, _The Highly Sensitive Person_. She talks about folks who would rather just be left alone; and a lot about how and why it's not a bad thing, just different than most of society. [I am an extravert, but also highly sensitive. I have a fine line of how much socializing is just right. I need alone time to recover from my socializing, but if I'm alone too long, I get a little nutty. I 'recharge' by being with people.]

That's why I think my relationships work so well. Both my men are very involved in their own lives and view a girlfriend as quite a bit of work. One of them is seriously introverted. This way, I get more attention and they get more alone time.

So, I'm curious as to why you think you might be poly, if the above paragraph is the case.
Take a look at the "How and when did you know?" thread for the long version... but in short I just don't feel jealous at the thought of my SO being with someone else, and I don't understand the mentality of no longer loving someone if they have any desire to be with another person. I guess I might even just want the freedom to know that I could be with someone else if I wanted to...
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