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Old 03-27-2012, 11:31 AM
strixish strixish is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 50

Yes, setting boundaries can be unreasonable. That's not really your question, though-- you want to know if *your* boundaries are unreasonable.

What sort of thought process led to the creation of your boundaries? What are you trying to prevent? What are you trying to maintain?

Safe sex is a simple enough area, and most of my boundaries are related to that. Those rules keep me physically safe, and give me a way to show respect for my partners and their other partners.

Scheduling is another thing that comes up in my relationships-- certain times, certain days of the week, are devoted to specific relationships. I don't schedule time with X if it's Y's night, and that creates a sense of security for Y (and let's Y know he's important to me). Also, if I make a date, I don't break it unless something really unexpected has come up (sickness, for example). These rules are a way to show respect for a relationship, and to provide emotional security.

I don't have any boundaries in place that restrict who my partners might spend time with, who they might be sexual with, who they might fall in love with, and how intense their other relationships may become. I protect the time and space that they have with me, but I don't restrict what they do when they're away from me (outside of the safe sex agreements).

So what are the specific boundaries you're trying to figure out?
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