Originally Posted by KyleKat
I gave up jealousy when I was very young. It was incredibly difficult but it allows me to be poly today. He needs to look inside himself and figure out what's causing him to feel jealous. Then he needs to kill that. Very few people can do that but if he can be will be a lot happier. He has to want to not be jealous, though. He can't stop until he's ready to put effort into it.
You need to stop comparing the sex, though. He's probably picking up on that. Tell him that it's different and that you don't want to discuss it in that kind of detail. Sex with him is not sex with the other guy or vice versa and you saying one is better than the other will lead to problems. Different. Not better or worse. Different.
When my bf asks who I prefer sex with, I always say the same thing, something like.............."Please dont do this, I love you so much, but I dont want to talk about that." I always fob him off. I think he takes that to mean that I prefer my lover, I think he would think the same if I told him that it was different. What he wants to hear is that sex is better with him. Sometimes, I wish that is what I had told him.
Sexually, they are very different though, my bf is very gentle and loving and is very considerate with regards to putting my needs before his own. Thats the way I want him to be, it reflects his personality and he does have a sex drive that matches my own. I really enjoy our lovemaking, it's good, and I wouldn't want to change anything about him. He is always demonstrative, he loves to hold hands and kiss and cuddle up on the sofa, not just with me, but with my son as well, he is a very loving person.
My lover is the opposite, sexually he is confident and very forceful and domineering towards me. He has an electric touch and sex with him is very exciting and there is nothing that we haven't tried . He is very well endowed and has amazing self control. We very rarely go out and he makes me have orgasms in a way that my bf cannot, and will never be able to............