As an example:
Boundaries are necessary in any relationship, but they seem to relax as the relationship goes on. I've found that the more rules there are, and the more specific those rules are, the more strain is placed on the relationship. I prefer to have as few boundaries as possible, but for those boundaries to be very strong.
In my two relationships, the boundaries are different. Especially because I swing in one of them, but I'll disregard that for now.
The others include:
No lying/complete honesty
Discuss before emotional/romantic ties with others are made
Always practice safer sex (condoms etc.) outside of fluid bonding
Discuss issues as soon as they develop
Schedule things ahead of time.
But everything is "to each their own." This is just me.
I wouldn't say asking for what you want/need is manipulating or controlling, but make sure that you're asking for it to solve an issue, not just because it makes you feel better momentarily. I mean to say, make sure it's not an arbitrary request. And make sure it is never a demand unless you are willing to lose the relationship for it. Either way, those who have written above me are correct: it's all about compromise, negotiation, and development of needs and wants. You and your partner(s) need to work together to figure out what works for each and all of you.
Me: Mid-Twenties. Bi-sexual, but not bi-emotional. My open poly boyfriend: Wolfwood. My mono-boyfriend: Russo.
My blog; sexually-explicit posts locked under friends-only. Friend to read: Polygoodgirl
Last edited by Kemie; 03-26-2012 at 11:03 PM.