Originally Posted by newtoday
He's read these threads. And for the most part, it's unfair to him and his S/O to have my raw , irrational thoughts on display. As I said to him, when clearer heads prevail, those irrational thoughts dissipate. But the damage is done once its put on paper.
That said, I'm going to shut up now. Anything I need to work through, I'll do it quietly, in my own head, or directly with him.
This scares me. I spent 18 years trying to "quietly" work stuff through "in my own head" and it almost landed me divorced. It can be extremely hard to work through the irrational thoughts without, sharing it with people who will help you work through it and/or writing it down. I have discovered that once I write it down, I can dissect it easier and days later see how irrational it might have been, especially if I can get feedback from others (who won't judge me). However, the whole process helps me get to the actual root of the problem.
My question is he telling you to work it out for yourself and don't seek any help or is that where your mind took you?
As far as you making them sound like the bad guys, I really don't think anyone here saw it that way. When dealing with 3 people, there are always 3 sides and each one of them has their own fears, insecurities and pasts that play into the situation. Communication is key.