Thanks for the welcomes.
I think it was easier on me having my wife and best friend fall in love. I can understand what someone would see in both of them and want the best for them. When everything came to light, I offered my wife an easy out, which she didn't take. That made it much easier for me to accept that she still loved me as much as she ever had. He is "in addition to", not "instead of", and I do believe that.
The NRE (love the terms I'm picking up here) can be a bit difficult to watch, since we've been doing the daily grind for so many years now. I just have to remind myself that that IS what new love looks like. (He lives many states away. They only see each other two or three times a year, so they're still all giddy when they see each other.)
I can certainly see how it would, or could, be more difficult if you're the one who wakes up and discovers you've fallen in love with someone else. I'm so glad you (Phy) worked through that and are happy.
This site looks like it will be a wonderful resource.