I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and comments and feedback.
Rereading these posts tonight, I see the raw emotion of them, the often irrational thoughts coming out of my head, unfiltered, as I try to make my way through this complicated journey. Many of them come out of fear, anxiety, insecurities, that, when clearer heads prevail, seem so irrational and I'm almost embarassed that I voiced them to begin with.
I'm just scared and confused sometimes. Being in love with someone who loves another more than me is hardly ideal but because of how I feel about him, I want to try my hardest to make it work. And I really do believe I can.
Tonight, reading these again, my true fear is that I've done nothing but make myself, my love and his S/O just look bad and that's simply not true. We are all trying our best.
He's read these threads. And for the most part, it's unfair to him and his S/O to have my raw , irrational thoughts on display. As I said to him, when clearer heads prevail, those irrational thoughts dissipate. But the damage is done once its put on paper.
That said, I'm going to shut up now. Anything I need to work through, I'll do it quietly, in my own head, or directly with him.
Thanks again for all your thoughts. I really appreciate it.
Good luck and Be Happy!