My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?
Hi everyone, I'm new to the site, and just need some advice and guidance from people who wont judge me.
I met an older(39) married man two and a half years ago and we entered into a poly relationship, he has an arrangement with his wife where they have agreed that they can see other people. It was initially just about a physical attraction and we would meet twice a week for sex. It did not take long for me to fall in love with him, and I can't deny that I wanted him to myself. After about six months, I started talking about us setting up a home together, he made it clear though that he would never leave his wife. I ended the relationship there, but after a few months I missed him so much that we got back together and I agreed to keep things as they were before. I still love him.
So, fast forward too a year ago, I met my boyfriend, and right from the start I told him the truth about my lover, and that I could not give him up, and if he wanted to be with me, it would have to be within an open relationship. He agreed to this.
I can't pretend that it was a 'love at first sight' thing with my partner, it wasn't, but over the course of the last year, I have truly started to love him so, so much. He is completely different to my lover, he is kind, funny, charming and very loving towards my six year old son & I. We live with him now, and he looks after us and has become a dad to my son, who adores him.
I continued to see my lover twice a week and my b/friend did initially see other girls.
The problem is, over the last few months my boyfriend has started to show signs of being jealous. He has become moody on the nights I see my lover and will often ask questions about him and also ask me if I prefer my lover in bed and it has now got to the point where he will even ask if he has a big dick. I don't answer him and tell him how much I love him and also not to be jealous, but he will still ask and he gets upset. I cannot tell him the truth.
As much as I love my boyfriend, and as gentle and loving as he is, and as much as I love our sex life together, he cant compete with my lover in bed, we have the most incredible sex together.
I truly do love them both, my boyfriend comes first though, and I have asked him if he wants me to give my lover up. He has said that it's up to me. He has stopped seeing other girls though, and this makes me feel so guilty.
So I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone else had to deal with something similar, and been able to overcome it and still see two people and make it work?
Any suggestions, Thanks.