I've been grappling a little with this too. I'm really excited about my new relationship with C, and sometimes find myself wishing I could see him more often, or that he would be able to promise to keep this going (he's mono and seeking more than I am able to offer). Now we joke about "living in the present" when we are together. Snuggled up together in our imaginary gift box, colorfully wrapped, we don't hold back any of our feelings, and we consciously avoid hanging them onto plans and hopes and expectations that are all outside the present we are reveling in. It has been a helpful mindset for me. Every time life gives us another "present" together we enjoy it for what it is. A gift.
Married to a monogamous man 15 yrs, mother of 2, dating C 3 yrs, and in a romantic friendship with L more than 20 yrs