I can sympathize with this situation. My wife is living her own secret life with multiple lovers and thinks I don't know but when the lack of intimacy is brought up she flies off the handle as if I'm asking for too much. My only advice is to find your own peace of mind.
Balance-29 year old married seeking female partner
Nikki -29 bisexual woman married to me
3 kids all girls 11,8,8 years of age