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Old 03-25-2012, 05:57 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Originally Posted by cbgnar42 View Post
But we are still "dating" and when we are together we act very close and loving.)
That made me think of how I came to be in my current poly tangle. I wasn't exactly still dating. I dated First bf for two years, we were good friends with the one I call Current bf. Broke up with FBF, shortly after, started dating CBF, and again we all were friends.

I remember going to dinner one day with FBF, and he fed me a bite of whatever he was eating. It was, to me, an exceedingly romantic gesture. It was one of the things that endeared me to him the first time. (I had asked him to stay with me (we were just friends, not dating) when my mom died. We went out to a park and took picnic like things, and I was ranting on and on, and he fed me. Because I was forgetting to eat.) When he did that, after we had broken up, and I was in the throes of NRE with CBF, it was unthinking, easy, breezy. just nice.

So, we multiply that by six years. Just friendship, amplified by the fact that we were once lovers. (and I really never stopped loving him, just changed my behaviour to mostly 'friend')

And now we are three. It's a 'vee' as they're straight. But they're very good friends.

Originally Posted by cbgnar42 View Post
I guess to sum things up, I'm wondering if I should just stick with her and stay super close like we have been until the next phase comes (weather that phase sees us back together or not) or should I sort of "let her go and if she comes back it was meant to be, if not she was never mine to lose." I wouldnt fully let her go, we would still be friends. But sometimes I think it would be best if we stopped acting like lovers all together. But it feels natural for us to act like lovers because we are. That's what I'm confused about and looking for advice on.
I think it's wonderful you're exploring here; and I'm not sure this is the best place for you, especially if you believe that you are both mono. No one else (here or anywhere) can tell you what's best for you.

I do know it's a tremendous challenge to let someone go; moreso when your deepest hope is that they will return.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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