My thought behind the "what if " time machine question was trying to filter out the illness, duty, obligation and honor and focus on matters of the heart.
I think from that prospective your relationship is actually stronger.
I think looking at the historical aspects of this ...were people may have been hurt can only help you to understand how and why these people behave the way they do in this dynamic.
In particular learning her early history or motivations could help you adjust your interactions with her. For example possibly changing the view the loving poly spouse to sick friend of a friend. ( if you had that view)
I'm very sure time together is very much needed and will feel great. ...Enjoy
I don't think you should feel silly for asking some questions and kicking around some ideas that may validate some thoughts or feelings ... I wouldn't.
Hope you have a great weekend D