If someone approached me telling me that they had a DADT arrangement with their partner I don't think I could help but be skeptical as to if it really was a consensual open relationship or if it's just a line I'm being fed. At the very least I would want to be able to contact the other partner(s) to confirm that this is really the arrangement they have. But by contacting the other partner you've already broken the DADT. I can't imaging actually pursuing a relationship with someone who tells me that have a DADT arrangement.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.