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Old 03-23-2012, 03:52 AM
SoCalDoc SoCalDoc is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 25

Your husband's ballet analogy is badly flawed--I suppose one could accidentally drop a dance partner, but cheating and lying to one's spouse over the course of a year is hardly an "oops". It's hard to go along w your decision to remain in what appears to be a horribly pathologic relationship, but for the sake of discussion, I see only one potential way this could work. You would need to somehow shift the balance of power, to give yourself more and your husband much less. If you want your husband to desire you more, make yourself more desirable. This might include physical things, like getting in shape (if you aren't already), and also psychological and spiritual things. If you are able to shift your focus from him to yourself, he will likely notice and find you more attractive. Not to get too personal, but you can try expanding your sex life--engage his fantasies and share your own. You mentioned that you're not poly, but dang, if you could allow yourself to at least fantasize about sex with another man (or woman) and share such fantasies w your husband it might be exciting and maybe even healing in some way. I'm sorry to ramble, I can't resist trying to repair things. Good luck.
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