I remember your story from last year and just went back to read your old thread. In that one you said you were trying to be okay with poly, but that it made your "heart ache in ways I've never felt before." And here you are still in deep pain over a year later. I feel for you. The betrayal cut you to the core. This has been devastating and tortuous for you, for a very long time. You don't have kids, right? Then, I gotta ask, I'm sorry - have you considered that maybe it's over? What keeps you still married and trying to make it work, when you aren't really getting what you need or any sense of satisfaction? It still seems like your needs are being dismissed by Charlie in such BIG ways. And sometimes leaving is the healthiest choice. You could have a new beginning where life is full of light and joy instead of the dark misery you're in. I'm not suggesting this lightly - being separated and facing divorce was one of the most painful things I've had to do, but I know that it was necessary. I know you still love him (you must!), but I have been realizing lately that, simply, love is just not enough to make a relationship work and be satisfying. So, what would be the tipping point for you, where you might start looking at divorce as a possibility?
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Last edited by nycindie; 03-23-2012 at 03:57 AM.