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Old 03-22-2012, 09:04 PM
squirtteacher88 squirtteacher88 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 7
Default How do I tell my wife I'm poly?


I'm a young video professional in the DC area and I've known that I was interested in having more than one relationship at a time for a while now. I've been encountering a lot of confusion in my life since I got married. I married the girl of my dreams (literally... I had dreams about her before we met) and part of our dating life was having experiences like threesomes and dates with a third woman. Neither of us suggested this we just kind of stumbled on it in our relationship. Similarly she stumbled upon exhibitionism and works as a webcam model now making money playing with other girls and herself on cams.

I don't know jealousy really. I think it's wonderful to have someone so sexually open as a wife. Except now that we're married when I suggest finding a girlfriend as a couple she gets very jealous and seems disinterested in the whole idea. It seems almost like she was poly just until I made a legal commitment and then she switched to being mono. I've not mentioned this for a while but I frankly feel very unfulfilled being able to have a romantic, sexual, and familial relationship with only one woman. This isn't a horny selfish thing either it's that I feel kinda bad for not taking care of and protecting single women out there who are putting themselves out to be abused by guys who do not care about who they are as people but are just trying to have sex and leave. It gets to be very painful for me to hear about these kinds of things when they happen and it makes me want to love on them.

I also feel attracted to many different kinds of people. My wife is one kind (my opposite) but sometimes I want to enjoy a woman who is more like me and can share the kinds of things that I enjoy. I know I didn't marry the wrong person for me and I don't want to divorce her. I just want to be able to have a long term relationship with another woman and even a trinogamous relationship since my wife is bi. I don't want someone else to make a lifetime commitment to but rather see my wife and I as a transition relationship a woman can enter into when she doesn't have time for a monogamous one but wants affection when she needs it without losing focus on school, work, or other personal goals she has.

My wife doesn't like the idea of us dating anyone since her last girlfriend (who only dated her exclusively) moved away to south africa and I continually feel like a douchebag for suggesting things that I think will help her get over it and get us back in the game. I'm just not sure what to do and I feel a bit confused about my own sexual identity (that most people would see at face-value and call douchey when it's motivated out of respect and love) and I feel confused about how to lovingly explain to my wife that this isn't just a desire for me it's a need.

Any thoughts or similar stories from you all?
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