It sounds like her vision of poly or " open relationship" is him having is biological urges satisfied so she didn't have to. Sending him off to weekly hookers would have been fine. ? Right. Did she have other lovers in the new opening up phase?
If you agree that all your needs can't be met by one person then why haven't you sought out the person or people to feel complete? What are you waiting for?
How much contact do you have with the wife where this passive aggressive comes into play? Is your weekly time with him always on there turf?