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Old 03-22-2012, 03:43 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

There's a big difference between expressing how you feel and asking for something in return with a little bit of "please like me as much as I like you" thrown in. One just lays it out there, assertively, the other is all wrapped up in expectation and wanting some sort of validation.

There's nothing wrong with expressing that you miss her or want to be with her. I did say to you:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
...there is nothing needy in saying, "I like you," "I enjoy your company," or "I'm looking forward to seeing you again." Because those are direct statements about how you feel, not questions about what you're going to get out of being with her...

What's wrong with just being direct: "How often can I call you?"
I'm sorry if some of the other things I wrote in my previous posts confuses or upsets you. Certainly, you can ignore my feedback and continue with how you've been approaching everything. My views are only my views. I was simply sharing my reaction if I put myself in her shoes: a few dates and a makeout session is not yet a serious relationship in my eyes, and it seemed like you were building it up to be something more than it is, and much too soon. She told you, "Let's just see how it goes," and "I don't really know what I want," but you were all stressed out, want things more defined, need to know where it's going, and it kind of seemed impatient and like you were asking for what you want in a way that sounds a little like begging for her affection/attention. I could be wrong. But it is new for you and it seemed you were chomping at the bit a little too much for what seems to be the early stages of dating someone.

No one is saying not to express yourself, but to monitor how you do it and what you want to get out of saying it. I agree with NovemberRain in that sometimes it is best to get out the confused thoughts or longings to someone else, so that you don't knock over your love interest with what you're hoping for.

How do you feel you might handle it if she just wants to keep things casual and not too committed?
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Last edited by nycindie; 03-22-2012 at 03:55 PM.
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