Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Feely, why the heck would you consider a guy "pussy-whipped" if his female partner has more prospects for casual sex than he does? That makes no sense whatsoever to me. "Pussy-whipped" implies that the guy in question is letting his female partner's desires dominate him unfairly. If a woman were not conventionally attractive, or socially awkward, or for some reason had more trouble finding hook-ups than her male partner, would that make her "cock-whipped" or whatever the equivalent would be?
We`ll probably not agree on this, so I will respond once. I was comparing equals.
If I get a goofy girl and a goofy guy, and see who has more prospects for casual sex... If I get an average girl and an average guy, and do the same. If I get Scarlett Johansson and Brad Pitt and do the same...I would think I`d find out the female equal does better each time in the number of available prospects for casual sex
Though, I will concede that that might also be my perspective as someone who likes roles reversed in the gendered pursuer-pursued schema. Sometimes it appears normative machos (or, even, bread-winning doormats) do better than me in picking up women, sometimes the opposite...it`s hard for me to establish either as a fact; topsy-turvy world. I often times feel
like a failure, when the numbers of partners I have had compared to the statistical averages I've read about are wildly successful. I also feel like I pursue women more than women pursue me, but that is also probably untrue and some kind of psychological editing. I`ve only recently become fully aware of how often I reject female attention, how picky I am in my choice of female partners, and my bisexuality, etc.
Now, obviously, if you`re comparing unattractive woman vs. attractive man, I would think the man has a good shot. And, indeed, unattractive women in relationships with attractive men can and do get whipped-equivalent in my observation all the time. I have recently ended a fuck-buddy relationship with a woman whom I would not consider attractive, but who has changed my sex life forever. In my sex life now, there is a "before-her" and an "after-her." And, I saw the opening there to lead her on if I wanted to, but I chose to be honest about my feelings. Which means I lost the sex, but it also means I don`t have to put forth the energy in being a douche (something that does not come naturally). Forgive me the liberty of putting myself on the attractive end of that relationship, it was just a close-to-home example.
Bottom line, if I am going to enter an open relationship, especially with a heterosexual woman (which, at the moment, I avoid), I would expect to move beyond the politically-correct taboo of discussing areas in which women might have an advantage over men.
And, obviously, in an open relationship, casual dating would be one of those areas and a central one to discuss openly and empathically.
It would seem the OP has failed to do that, or stand up for himself in that regard. IMO, that`s why he`s posting while his partner is having orgasms. And, that does
feel like being treated unfairly.