Originally Posted by onoma
So of course everyone has doubts sometimes. I'm slowly heading towards polyamory, but I'm currently in a monogamous relationship that I don't really want to give up. I do love her and sometimes I can see being with her forever, but I'm not sure I can see never wanting to be with anyone else.
This is the hardest thing you have to do - deciding whether or not to share this part of yourself with your SO. That you believe yourself to by polyamorous. I have recently gone through a similar decision process. The fear involved with revealing this part of yourself to your loved one (or ones) can be paralyzing.
The worst thing about this is that the decision is open-ended
. Once you decide to tell her, there's no going back. But if you don't tell her, the decision still remains open to you forever
! That is stressful.
And that constant pressure of having that decision available, means that sooner or later, you'll tell her. And that will relieve the pressure of not only finally being honest with her, but also remove the stress of always facing this ominous decision in your life. (Look - there is a horrible alternative, and that's to be dishonest with her and trying to keep the stress of this perpetually impending decision at bay - good luck with that).
So tell her. Just work out exactly how you feel, go over in your head what you'll say, what beliefs you have, because there is nothing worse then not being completely honest at this point, but you have to do it with compassion.