Wow! It just goes to show that you can go way far in your own imaginings when you're seeing what you want to see and don't know the real score.
Thanks for the update. I'm glad to hear that it sounds like things are going to be ok all around, and that you and your wife are walking the path of honesty together. You overcame your fear of disclosure, and she overcame her fear of hearing you.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.