Thread: Doubts
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Old 03-22-2012, 04:02 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onoma View Post
So of course everyone has doubts sometimes. I'm slowly heading towards polyamory, but I'm currently in a monogamous relationship that I don't really want to give up. I do love her and sometimes I can see being with her forever, but I'm not sure I can see never wanting to be with anyone else.
Is your partner open to it? (you've likely posted about that elsewhere....sorry, my tracking abilities are next to nothing these days...overload)

Quote:
Originally Posted by onoma View Post
Added to that is the fact that in the past I've been pretty terrible at meeting women. I think I'd be better now but...
So, why were you terrible at it; and what's changed? Are you comfortable with a dating site? OKCupid seems pretty popular with folks here. (I'm not familiar with it) If I were looking, that's where I'd go.

Quote:
Originally Posted by onoma View Post
I worry about giving up something good for this big unknown, and then even finding that I only think I'm poly.
Ah, so you would have to give it up. ? Some people can live with not knowing things. I am, for instance, quite content to travel many places via movies and television. When I was younger, I drove all over the USA, and loved it. I also went to Paris, a childhood dream. And now that my body is not as cooperative, I'm quite content to enjoy travels vicariously.

Others are haunted by not finding out things for themselves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by onoma View Post
Finally, I'm actually kind of a closed-off person. I'm not super social and I don't do a good job of maintaining friend relationships. A lot of times I'd really rather just be left alone... and even the time/effort involved with one girlfriend seems like so much that how could I possibly be this close to two women?
That's worth considering. I recommend reading JaneQSmythes posts (and her blog/life story). She identifies as an introvert (I think) and might have useful insights for you.

I also really recommend a book by Elaine Aron, _The Highly Sensitive Person_. She talks about folks who would rather just be left alone; and a lot about how and why it's not a bad thing, just different than most of society. [I am an extravert, but also highly sensitive. I have a fine line of how much socializing is just right. I need alone time to recover from my socializing, but if I'm alone too long, I get a little nutty. I 'recharge' by being with people.]

That's why I think my relationships work so well. Both my men are very involved in their own lives and view a girlfriend as quite a bit of work. One of them is seriously introverted. This way, I get more attention and they get more alone time.

So, I'm curious as to why you think you might be poly, if the above paragraph is the case.
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Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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