Sorry, I should clarify about his timing on polyamory. He told me on the phone before we had our second date. We had been talking to each other on the phone & had our first coffee date. I am glad that he told me up front before we started making love to each other. I think that Jeff has been very open to me about this relationship.
Thank you everyone for your comments and posts. They have helped me to look at this a bit more rationally, and i now realize that i am moving too fast. After the break with my ex-husband, I wanted to find a person with whom i could have a relationship built on trust & honesty. I think that I have found that with him, but I wasn't counting on polyamory!