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Old 03-21-2012, 05:55 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtoday View Post
Even he says that this is fucked up... I'm the bystander with open arms who just wants to love him and be loved by him.
In reading your story and some of the other ones that have shown up here lately, as well as thinking of my now-defunct marriage and my current relationships, I am coming more and more to the conclusion that, when it comes to relationships, love is over-rated.

Don't get me wrong, I feel that love is at the core of who we are as human beings and that it's beautiful to feel it, share it, and express it in our work and lives. However, loving someone doesn't automatically man the relationship will bring satisfaction and happiness. I think of how many times I had to walk away from relationships that weren't good for me, even though I loved those men. It just isn't enough to go on. And so, when a relationship ends, people will turn around and say, "oh, I guess it wasn't really love." Because how can we accept the fact that love was there and it still didn't bring us happiness or satisfy our needs?

So, here you are, loving this man, and there he is loving you and her, but where is the satisfaction? Does the love make it all worth the trouble, or does it just complicate matters?

Sorry to be musing on your thread, but this just seems to be popping up all over these boards and elsewhere in my life lately. I feel like we elevate and inflate love to this position where it's supposed to take care of everything, and it doesn't.
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An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/
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