Originally Posted by bastet
He might. Which I find kind of silly. Why lose a connection with someone because they don't fit into your script. He might not though, sparks have a way of making people want to do rewrites.
One thing for him to consider is the tremendous amount of pressure this puts on you and the other woman to both initiate and then maintain a relationship. Pressure is the enemy of healthy connections. For instance, what if he finds a girl he's crazy about but you're not sure you're that into her... you might find yourself falling into bed with her anyway because you don't want to ruin things for the two of them. Or what if things start out great between the three of you but in time she realizes she's not quiite clicking sexually with you any more... but she's falling for him and she thinks that if she pulls back from you he'll dump her, so she pushes herself to override her feelings and be with you regardless.
There's really nothing good about that expectation/requirement, for anyone involved. And I think it speaks to Nyc's comment about remembering that we're dealing with real people. When bi women are expected to be into each other just because they're bi it's dehumanizing... to you as much as to any potential new partner. If it happens, cool. But if you force it, it's just plain wrong. I know you get that, I'm hoping some of this will help you talk to your bf about it.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.