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Old 03-21-2012, 01:13 PM
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bastet bastet is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 31

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
So, if he dates a girl who's bi but isn't attracted to you, or you're not attracted to her, will he dump her because it doesn't match his fantasy? What if you two *are* into each other and end up forming a romantic relationship and she find she's no longer feeling it with him -- could he handle that?
He might. Which I find kind of silly. Why lose a connection with someone because they don't fit into your script. He might not though, sparks have a way of making people want to do rewrites.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
You guys have fallen for the unicorn hunter fantasy twice, the idea that you can bring a woman into your existing relationship and share her and it will magically work out. As they say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Do you really want to get fooled three times?
No, I certainly do not want to. It's not only had a negative effect on our relationship but in the first case it was emotionally difficult for the woman. My greatest sorrow in the things we have experienced is losing her, hurting her and my role in that. The shame IS on me. That's exactly the goal in wanting LSL and I to walk our own paths here and if they meet lovely if not, so be it.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
You've wised up to the fact that life and love are complicated and that you can't plan in advance how things will go. Why can't he? I agree with Derby that it sounds like a control issue. If you're sharing *his* partner than you can technically have another lover without him having to actually open up to the scariness of you having an outside involvement. He needs to work on letting go of this, rather than clinging to fantasies that have failed you multiple times.
Control agreed all around. It's the crux of it. So much easier said than done rewriting a life of control issues. Yet, worth it. I'm going with that belief. Whatever happens, it's worth it.
Love laughs at locksmiths. ~ Proverb
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