Originally Posted by sealace
"As far as attachment goes, that is something different. That is all about expectations and hopes for something more. I think if people have their eyes open, they can feel the fondness and affection without letting themselves get attached and needy. But it takes a certain discipline not to get sucked into the euphoria that clouds our judgment. "
Hmm. Well, I sure wish I could be that way, but when these chemicals take over my brain I find myself getting attached and insecure...at least if I see them fairly regularly. It's just the way I'm made up, I guess. What I wonder about with "casual relationships", then, is if you keep seeing each other, sleeping together and getting to know each other, how on earth can that remain casual? I'm a very deep person who connects on a super deep level with people at times, and keeping that reigned in doesn't seem to work for me.
I'm wondering if you have the notion that you're wrong (ish?) somehow for not being able to do that?
I'm not sure if I'm deep or shallow. I've been told (by folks with vested interests) that I choose less than available men because I'm afraid to be deeply connected. I don't think that's true. One reason (not the only reason) that I read less than I used to is because I get very attached to the story. I can't get that attached to stories, because I need that energy for my life.
[sorry, I digress]
If you know you're deep, just go with it. Find an OSO you can deeply connect with. If you found a poly guy who didn't want it casual, wouldn't that be 'better' for you? To go with your nature, rather than against it?