First Poly Relationship Ever!
Hello! I am a complete newbie to polyamory. I was married for over 17 years to a man whom i recently found out that he had cheated on me with a member of my family. We are currently separated, and will be divorced in about 4 months. My ex-husband and i have had a very poor relationship at best for many years. We are friends at best, but not in the bedroom! I have no sexual desire for my husband at all anymore, which i find sad.
Two months ago, I decided to join a dating website. I posted that I was separated and would soon be divorced. I received an email from a man whose name is Jeff told me never to give up on love, that I would find love again someday. We began to email each other, and quickly moved to phone calls and finally, to our first meet & greet. We met for coffee and stayed together for over 6 hours! We continued with our phone calls after our first date. One nite, i asked him if he had any girl friends. There was a slight pause, and then he answered yes: one! Then Jeff asked me if i had ever heard of polyamory. He asked me to look it up, which i did, and he explained that his girl friend is poly. She is his first encounter with polyamory, and they have been together for over 3 years. i am his first second? girl friend. The girl friend has had many poly relationships besides Jeff over the last 3 years. Yes, we are dating and sleeping together. I decided after heavy consideration, that he is worth a poly relationship to me. Jeff is a kind, honest & very loving person who states that he is capable of infinite love. I have found this to be true.
I need help with not being jealous. I have found myself wondering about their relationship, if it is better than ours, or if she is different in bed. Jeff encourages me to ask him anything at all to include questions about his girl friend. He has learned more about about me in 5 weeks, than most people who have known me for years! We have a very open relationship based on honesty. Also, what do i tell my family & friends? I have told 2 people, and they think I am crazy. All I know is that I have a 1000 times better relationship with Jeff than I do with ex-husband, and that I love him already.
Thank you for listening to all of my crazy mixed up thoughts!