Hi nycindi, thanks for your thoughts.
You're absolutely right, I did say that it was 100% honesty between us all. However, my dilema is that, because of her illness, he is super defensive of her. She can do no wrong. I have tried in the past to express my concerns over her passive-aggressiveness towards me but he denies it, saying I'm just being over sensitive. But I'm not. I try so hard to get along, as does she, when he's present. When he's not, it's a different story.
And no,I don't have any other partners. Two reasons, one, I am new to polyamory and do struggle with balancing those emotions for more than one man at once. And that's ok, between my children, my career and my LIFE, I have little time... But the other reason is that, although he says that he will understand if I find someone else, more full time, his actions speak otherwise. He does get quite melancholy, depressed, jealous if he gets any impression that I just might be thinking about doing that. He says that he dreads the day that that happens and he loses the woman that he is in love with, me. So it makes it hard for me to want to pursue other partners.
Ugh. I don't know. It's so complicated. But thanks for your input, I appreciate it.