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Old 03-21-2012, 12:29 AM
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FrankLee FrankLee is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 48
Default What and when to tell a child

This is probably the most difficult question for me, now that I am considering committing to the lifestyle and philosophy of polyamory. My 22 yr old son has had difficulty with his mom and I divorcing, and he hated going back and forth between homes as a kid. And the fact that he has birth parents 14,000 miles away in South America (whom he may never know) adds to his sense of abandonment.

I almost think it's genetic, or a least strongly cultural that a young person wants to know where he belongs and who he belongs to. And, when that picture gets fragmented, it is very difficult for them.

So, my thought at the moment is to say nothing about polyamory, and certainly not to use "that word." The bond between a parent and a child seems the strongest of human bonds, more so than the bond of lovers or partners. So, the bond with my son is my first commitment, and maybe some day, there may be a way to explain to him that my clock wasn't wound up to be monogamous.
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