Originally Posted by bastet
I'm more inclined to have this be a solo venture for each of us. While the idea of sharing his girlfriends isn't off the table it's not exactly what I'm looking for.
He knows this, yet still talks about wanting to share.
From my poly beginnings of long, late night talks where oh...a billion words were said, I figured out that even a specific message that I delivered many times in the same conversation, ended up being lost in translation, with so much other stuff going on.
You might want to reiterate, maybe even via an email, the idea that you want to date separately, just this idea and nothing else. I don't think it's that uncommon to latch onto the part of a conversation that you want to hear and ignoring the rest. As he seems to really be focusing on the "sharing of girlfriends isn't off the table" and not hearing the "I'm more inclined to want to date solo", delivering the message again can't hurt.
I am wondering, how does he respond to you saying you'd rather date solo? If he understands you want to and is OK with that, I'd probably tolerate his ongoing "sharing" fantasy comments, as that will get probably get sorted out soon enough when you two actually ARE dating solo.