Originally Posted by nycindie
Why is the girlfriend being left out of the loop?
I would say they should definitely talk to her before coming up with a vision of how to move forward, but for just figuring out between the two of them if there's even a possibility that they can open their marriage to emotional engagement with someone else (well, to acknowledged emotional engagement, since it seems like it certainly existed before just unacknowledged) without destroying it, it probably makes sense to talk just the two of them first. That said, if they're going to see her soon they should probably acknowledge that they're working through some things so she's not like "Why are things so tense, did I do something wrong??"
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.