Thanks, everyone. I know my situation is a little out of the norm, but with the help you've provided I think I can get through this.
@AnnabelMore - I'm hoping, as @Alleycat mentioned, that some of the changes will be seen at home. She's trying to lose weight, buying some lingerie, etc. I do get some benefit from that.
@dingedheart - First encounter was good, but I wish I hadn't had so many Martinis beforehand to calm my nerves. I'm trying to meet people, but I'm not Adonis (I'm bald), and a lot of dating happens in the first 5 seconds when you see the person...
@NovemberRain - Well, I know those details b/c I asked. Do most people do this with a strict "don't ask, don't tell" policy?
@Alleycat - Thanks for the pointer to "NRE" - I hadn't heard of that before, and it makes total sense. I think the word you were searching for was "selfish".
Thanks for everyone's help. Sex is the only subject my wife have ever fought over...