Originally Posted by nycindie
It sounds like you have a good start in being honest with yourself. Just keep your eyes open and remember that, if you do date this man you're interested in or other people, you should be dating your husband, too. Don't let the relationship with Firehaus just be all about the household, bills, and child-raising, while other men are all about escaping to fun sexy times. You'd be surprised how many people come here and talk about the problems they have because they never quite figured that part out.
Yes, that means scheduling regular date nights with Firehaus, and getting a babysitter!
If you don't have time for hot dates with your hubby now, how will you have time for hot dates with him and someone else later? Like Dingedheart posted earlier, if you use each other for babysitters, resentment and distance will only grow. If you want romance with others, remember to stoke the fires of romance at home.
This is the main issue I think we have to work on, and are working on. That IS what our relationship had turned into, and I am actively wanting that to change, even if there was no poly that would be the same situation and case!
We DO have time for each other, but we weren't working to isolate it and use it. We just weren't really making it a priority, due to other work, finances, etc., and my physical issues last year and unease the year before certainly not helping out. We do have a nearby sitter so we can go out together, and make fun dates at home, too, once our child is in bed. Making it a regular, calendared thing is a great idea.
As to time for both, there are special circumstances with this individual in that he is gone. A LOT. At least half the year, in total, scattered over weeks and months away, with shorter stretches of time at home. Large stretches of time will be just me and Firehaus like always. I'll miss him while he's gone, but that is nothing new, and his schedule away is not a mystery, we will know when he is going to be home. And it allows me plenty of time to focus on my family, and tons of time to focus on Firehaus and our relationship.
I'm going to duck away, again, I think. =) But I may check in, esp. if Firehaus wants me to.