He won't tell her he loves you, but you won't tell him she's been passive aggressive toward you. You say there is "100% honesty" between you, but that isn't exactly true.
These are the circumstances of being with a married man who has a public face to preserve. Why does the declaration of love between you mean that things should change?
Do you have any other partners? I think it might help if he wasn't the only focus of your life.