He won't tell her he loves you, but you won't tell him she's been passive aggressive toward you. You say there is "100% honesty" between you, but that isn't exactly true.
These are the circumstances of being with a married man who has a public face to preserve. Why does the declaration of love between you mean that things should change?
Do you have any other partners? I think it might help if he wasn't the only focus of your life.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein