Originally Posted by nycindie
I don't see how Hubs can be furious if you put it into terms like "I've met a new friend, and I find him attractive. You can trust me not to act on it because I respect your need for a boundary around that for now, but I'd appreciate you keeping an open mind. The possibility of me dating men is something we should discuss after you've had your date with Crushy."
We had the 'talk' it went far better than any of my fears or personal insecurities imagined. While he wasn't thrilled about it all, he understood my hesitation to tell him. We had a long discussion about boundaries, what we are comfortable with now, and where we are having problematic feelings. It was all incredibly reasonable and adult.
His date is on for later this week with 'crushy' <--- I am adopting this name for her, because it's kind of perfect. (thanks) He has agreed that while he has fears about me spending time with another man that they are his fears. We agreed that it's fine for me to continue my friendship and see where it goes. I agreed to respect his feelings, discuss the developments with my new friend and check in with him before making any leaps. (there was a lot of agreeing
So overall... big success, huge relief. Truth wins.
I text the boy last night and he seemed happy to hear that I'm able to be more open about spending time with him. He's going away for awhile on holiday with wife. So we won't be spending any time together for the immediate future. I'm unsure how this will all go. There's still the issue of his wife, her lack of knowledge and how that will play out. I need to decide how comfortable I am with that. It would be easier if we were all in the loop. It's also not my place to force that decision for him, it's his relationship not mine. Then there's the question will he still be interested now that there isn't a taboo? I suppose if he isn't then it wasn't a good situation anyway.
Last night was a good one. All that honest talk led to some fantastic sex with Hubs. Who knew truth was so damn sexy.