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Old 03-19-2012, 09:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matellas View Post
I don't think I would be ok watching it go on. I feel as if having her out of the house I could actually not have to think about it and could concentrate on myself and my kids...

I guess I feel as if I have already partly been living with her seeing someone else... I would rather her immerse herself into what she thinks she wants and find out for sure. Not that I don't want to be a part of it but as if I have spent two years sacrificing time, money and emotions to get all the way to being able to ask her marry me and then someone else is swoping in and taking that away. I don't know if I want to feel tied to someone who doesn't want the exact same or who in her words "doesn't think she could be doing what I'm doing right now."
Don't get me wrong. I don't disagree with your idea to ask her to move out. I'm just saying it seems premature if she then moves in with him. I wouldn't encourage her to do that. I would think she should find a friend to stay with or be on her own while she decides what to do. What growth can be gained by going from one shared living situation into another when she's trying to come to terms with what she wants? I don't see how it will help her. But I guess if she isn't living with you, then it's really up to her and this is a moot point.

I can totally understand that you are protecting yourself after everything you've put into this relationship. Good for you. If she does move out, would you still want to work on it, or would you consider it over?
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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