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Old 03-19-2012, 06:44 PM
matellas matellas is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: kansas
Posts: 23

[QUOTE=SourGirl;129378]Hello, and welcome.

I am also going to start putting money in the bank everytime someone here decides that monogamy isn`t working for them, therefore it must suck for all humans. I should end up with retirement cash, fairly soon.
It seems to be a newbie /self-centered thought, that causes people to make such statements. If you don`t want the rest of the world to assume monogamy on you, then you shouldn`t assume polyamory onto others.
I am not sure what the in-the-know poly`s call this, but I dub it as being part of the 'Jones Club' . They still want to keep up with their neighbours. People aren`t really letting their mind open to new ways of living. Instead, they just run in a parrallel universe to monogamy. They build similar expectations, similar outlooks, ...they just do it with more people. So instead of running around preaching monogamy as being the 'only way' they flip, and say non-monogamy is the only way.
So if you do this, do it because you actually believe in it. Not because you have a need for a new-normal.

Wow. That is quite a way to put it all into perspective. I would look forward to hear more of what your thoughts are on the subject if/when you have time. You have quite a poignant analogy on this.

As for the journey part of it, I completely agree as well. My overall concern though is that the journey we are now taking is somewhat corrupted by his thoughts and feelings on the subject. That sounds like jealousy at the very least I'm sure but this journey has begun due to her feelings for him and their talks together based upon his sex life and what he has done and how he feels. I have asked her to be honest with me and if we are going to go down this road to at least explore every option together no matter the outcome then we need to be talking about everything. I came home from work a few days ago and seen she had purchased the book "The Ethical Slut". I have not had a chance to do more than glance over a few pages but it honestly sounded like a good find to begin to read over and have some better understanding. On the other side of that though she has always been against porn or anything porn related. If I had bought this book and brought it home or something similar she would've chopped my head off. But now it's kosher all of a sudden. I'm not mad she got it I was upset that she didn't say a word about it and I have to find it on my own. I want to feel like we are in step with each other and on the same page. This is just a small example of what's been slowly happening with her. There honestly has been a ton more where I have been feeling left out or out of the loop.
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