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Old 03-19-2012, 02:52 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 883

Hello, and welcome.

I agree with others, the deadline is unreasonable.

I am also going to start putting money in the bank everytime someone here decides that monogamy isn`t working for them, therefore it must suck for all humans. I should end up with retirement cash, fairly soon.
It seems to be a newbie /self-centered thought, that causes people to make such statements. If you don`t want the rest of the world to assume monogamy on you, then you shouldn`t assume polyamory onto others.
I am not sure what the in-the-know poly`s call this, but I dub it as being part of the 'Jones Club' . They still want to keep up with their neighbours. People aren`t really letting their mind open to new ways of living. Instead, they just run in a parrallel universe to monogamy. They build similar expectations, similar outlooks, ...they just do it with more people. So instead of running around preaching monogamy as being the 'only way' they flip, and say non-monogamy is the only way.
So if you do this, do it because you actually believe in it. Not because you have a need for a new-normal.

Back to your personal issue : Your fiance is caught up in NRE, so of course she wants to rush things while she still feels it. She does need to slow down. You have a lot of baggage from your ex and her cheating. This will be part of what needs to be sorted out, in order to look into polyamory in a healthy way.

Your fiance needs to understand that this isn`t just her journey, it is yours as well. Learning experiences are not a one-way street.

Good luck.

Last edited by SourGirl; 03-19-2012 at 06:03 PM.
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