Deep in his heart am I loved less?
I have been a polyamorous "marriage" for lack of a better term with a man and his wife for nearly five years. He has been legally married to her for 13 years and has children with her. We get along like a big loving family and in general things get along swimmingly. While she is the alpha female (and this is fine by me, it is not my personality anyway) the idea is that we are both equally important and have our roles and are loved equally. In my insecure moments when I question him he says thatt he loves us equally but differently-which is fine. He also states that while she would never do so if she said that she no longer wanted me around that he would never leave me (although I question the validity of this as she has the trump card of having children with him). Sometimes, however in my heart I believe that he loves me less and that he goes out of his way to make her feel special, loved, and appreciated in ways that are almost imperceptable but there nonetheless. I fear that perhaps I'm being sensitive and paranoid but I'd appreciate your insight. What are the small telltale signs that one partner is not truly loved and needed as much as the other? Please, please give me your thoughts. I need them. Thank you.