After all my wife's feelings and desires came into the open a couple of weeks or so ago and I accepted her feelings (her need to have the option to love others while keeping our relationship) our sexual desire and frequency has been wearing us out. Ultimately I want us both to be happy. I think of it as us both being on a train, we are going to the same happy destination, but we may be doing different things both together and apart while on the journey.
My wife's desire is to be able to love as needed. Yes, she has two men who she loves but that doesn't mean they are in the same place. One is in a poly relationship that takes a route my wife says she is not interested in. The other, even if he loves my wife, may not be able to love her the way she wants while I am still her primary. So for my wife this may not be expressed immediately it may happen for her at some later time (or tomorrow who knows).
I confess that my initial post was probably the result of a panic, filled with anxiety I needed help. Expressing my panic and concerns did help a little but the responses from those deeper into this helped even more. My wife and I keep talking about our concerns and feelings so things in some ways have never been better. I expect I will have issues going forward but they seem more manageable now.
But yes, a certain amount of my panic was the result of: We hardly date or sleep together now and if you're going to be sleeping someplace else then we'll never share our souls and bodies again.
Last edited by firehaus; 03-19-2012 at 05:00 AM.