It wasn't that things were horrible it was that I was having trust issues due to my ex wife. My ex had cheated on me multiple times including with my best friend and got pregnant by another man and trying to pass it off as mine. My fiances schedule and mine are contradictory a lot of the time and with two kids we rarely have time for one another. She had gotten a new job and made new friends and the times when I thought she would be home from work and we would see each other she wanted to go out with her friends and did so. We began to see less and less of each other and our communication went to shit. For awhile I was comparing her to my ex thinking that she was doing the same stuff my ex was. That went on for three months and the past three months we I have been slowly trying to repair things incliding finally delaing with what my ex did to me.
As for the suggestions if I agree to Poly the thought for me is that getting only half of her is due to my feeling that when you are in a monogamous relationship that one person is always thinking about you and putting you first. In poly it feels like she would be thinking about him part of the time and not me. She would be looking forward to her dates with him not with me. I want to be her everything and I'm feeling now that I can't. This is the person I choose to want to be with but they now want someone else and I can't fullfill things for her. I feel like I'm in a competition with this guy. I caan deal with and compete with sex but love is something I can't... I feel so absolutely lost...