Wow, Alleycat. Your stereotyping is close to spot on here.
My former domme metamour:
- Late 40s
- Used to be married to an emotionally abusive alcoholic, whom she hesitated to leave until he blindsided her by leaving her first. She dated other men without his knowledge for years before he did. I met her when she hit on my husband online. He, as a poly person, would not date an adulterer, but he found her interesting to talk to and we made a project out of her, we thought we could "turn" a cheating person into an honest poly person. On the surface we succeeded, she's a part of our local poly community now, heaven help us. We deeply regret that now.
- About 250 pounds, used to be more back when I was in the relationship too.
- Works for herself as a business coach and claims to do well at it, but she was living with her mom before she moved in with my ex.
- Very insecure about her looks and her body. I reassured her about those things more than once.
- Bitchy? Well, at one point in my relationship with our mutual boyfriend, she told me that if he ever put my needs before hers, she would dump him. It was long before she moved in with him, she and I were just girlfriends he saw one or two nights a week apiece at that point. That was when I figured out that she wasn't really my friend.
- I can't comment on her kink abilities, but I know her husband wanted to hire a pro-domme before he left her, was only stopped by the cost of such.
- In terms of actively driving off third parties, I know what happened to me, and I also know a little of what happened to the woman my ex dated after me. She was very friendly with the domme at first, and I know my ex fell for her, but a few months into the relationship she decided to move 4,500 miles away. I saw the three of them together once before she left, and it was pretty darned chilly between the women. I was not surprised.
My current boyfriend's new friend designates herself as a "Mistress" on Fetlife, not a "Domme." Is that any better? I'm always unsure about the nuances of these things.