Thread: The L-Word
View Single Post
  #8  
Old 03-18-2012, 03:42 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,320
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mixer View Post
I wasn’t saying that I want to use the L-word in reference to Ethel, and can’t bring myself to. It’s that since that isn’t the case, it’s kind of a deafening silence thing if I say it to Lucy. Or so it seems to me.
Sorry for the misunderstanding then. (...although the "radically changing your behavior" part of my second post may still apply...)

Maybe the "deafening silence" is, in fact, something that only you are hearing. I'd probably ask Lucy if she hears it too and then decide if a change is warranted. For instance, perhaps you don't say it when all three of you are being sexually intimate until you are ready to say it to Ethel as well (if Lucy understands the reasoning behind it and agrees) but it's ok if you are being intimate with Lucy alone (I forget if you 3 have a "only all together" rule) or in non-sexual situations involving the 3 of you until things normalize.

Personally, though, if I were involved with people with a 10 year relationship and never heard them express their love for each other I would be concerned for the health of their relationship, and what that would mean for the potential future of mine with them. (i.e. "If they can't say that they love each other after 10 years together, how long will it take for them to love me?")

JaneQ

(PS. Please don't take offense if I am completely off-base, I have only the words that you type to go by - obviously I don't know all the ins-and-outs of your sitation.)
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 03-18-2012 at 03:46 AM.
Reply With Quote