"It doesn't seem right to me to tell someone that you love them only out of trying to be "fair and equal" - if someone said it to me after only a short time, before they even had a chance to know me that well (a process I think would take at least 6 mos - or 60 years...) I would feel it to be insincere and would be seriously put offby it."
It was a little weird for me to hear my gf and her husband exchange ILU's before she and I were ready to say that to each other, but it was well worth it because 1) I wouldn't have wanted to think my presence was inhibiting them overmuch (like, I'd be down with them being somewhat less demonstrative with me around, i.e. not getting lost in each other's eyes and whispering fervent expressions of passion while I'm sitting there like "Um, hi, I'm still here.....", but I'd be sad if I thought they felt like they had to be mega inhibited because that would make me feel like they couldn't relax around me and I was an imposition), and 2) when Gia and I did finally say out to each other, about six months into our relationship, it was way meaningful and special, something I'll never forget.
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.