Thread: The L-Word
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Old 03-18-2012, 03:12 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,857

Originally Posted by mixer View Post
The above silly example is common for us, but suddenly seemed a bit awkward in the presence of our new unicorn.
(Sorry for two posts but I don't know how to multi-quote yet.)

Getting used to a new person can be awkward. My opinion is that the awkwardness fades with time as everyone learns about everyone else. If you just radically change your behavior to make everything "equal" between both girls 1.) the "unicorn" may sense this and feel like she is creating tension between you and your longer term girl and 2.) your first girl may feel that you are making all of these accommodations for the new girl and that the 10 years she has already put in don't count for anything.

(Dude says the stuff like our "short-hand" discussions, codes for longer concepts, and "in-jokes" don't bother him at all - these things come with time, he says he plans to be around long enough that these will develop with him as well. He is bothered, however, if he gets the sense that his presence is interfering with our relationship or communication OR if he were to feel that my relationship with him could just be "thrown away" if there are difficulties rather than taking the effort to work through them.)

Just some food for thought...

Breathe. Wait. Breathe again.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 03-18-2012 at 03:15 AM.
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