I am very moved by this thread, and am glad that I found it here. I am very familiar with the 12-steps and they pretty much are my guide to life and religion, though in practice by imperfect human beings, as we all are, they have had mixed success.
My addictions are of the behavioral type rather than the substance type. The fellowships that I have attended originated in the late 70's and have not had the meteoric growth that AA, founded in 1935, has had. There may be a reason for this. I'm not sure that behavioral addictions translate perfectly from the AA model, though many zealous advocates say there is no difference.
So, we have yet to discover the key to becoming fully functional, healthy, addiction free humans
Duh, if we had we wouldn't be still considering the Keystone Pipeline. And, though some people consider Bill Wilson, the founder of AA, who brilliantly wrote the 12 steps in a blaze of inspiration overnight, to be the second coming of Jesus Christ, if you read his biographies (all of which I have) you will learn that he was one weird Dude. (Well, maybe so was Jesus.)
So, having said a lot and said nothing, I'll add that I feel a bit hesitant to discuss my shortcomings in an open forum, maybe private messages would be better. And, as to sponsors, I have such an aversion to authority figures, that my experience with sponsors has been abysmal. I have had better luck with "peer to peer" recovery or something called "co-sponsoring."